In a world that values delusion over logic, one nerdy girl searches for... who the fuck knows?

It has been suggested to me by a couple of our patrons that I should remove this blog post or issue a retraction and an apology. 

While I sympathize with their feelings, I will endeavor to clarify here why this blog post isn’t going anywhere, and why I will not be issuing either a retraction or an apology.

Firstly, why I will not delete this post:

My personal approach to my online activity is that the memory hole does not exist. If I say something publicly, that statement will remain public. When I have made an error of fact that can be demonstrated to my satisfaction, my practice has always been to amend the post accordingly, making a note at the head and/or within the body of the post, highlighting and correcting the error rather than concealing it through stealth edits that hide my mistakes. 

This is how I do things, and how I have done them since I began speaking online, because I own my words, even if/when they are mistaken or false, and even if they are ill-advised or do not reflect well on me. 

Deleting an error is not owning it—highlighting the error and correcting it is. Deleting a post that you regret having made is not owning it—it’s washing your hands of it, and its consequences.

Secondly, why I will not issue a retraction:

To the best of my knowledge, nothing I have said in this post is factually incorrect. If it is brought to my attention that I have made an error of fact, I will amend it as per my normal practice.

Thirdly, why I will not apologize:

Every word of the post below was my genuine sentiment at the time, and still is. 

I will not abide accusations of me taking a private or internal conflict between HBB and a former associate and unfairly making it public. I reserve the right to publicly address false and potentially actionable allegations that have themselves been made in public. I did not take this “internal conflict” into the public sphere. The conflict was made public, and I answered it in public.

I will not accept accusations of unjustly “punching down” simply because the individual engaging in slander against my associates has a smaller platform than I do. I reserve the right to speak what I believe to be the truth, no matter who is on the receiving end, big or little, powerful or small-time, enemy or ally. 

I will not acknowledge any suggestion that the immorality of a false allegation is tied not to its falseness but to how privileged or disprivileged the accuser is. I will not entertain the notion that because someone is in a difficult situation or is less influential than I am, that I am not within my right to hit back when they unjustly attack me or those I care about who I believe are being unjustly maligned. Especially when they consider a past lack of response to be a license to escalate their attacks.

Finally, a word about my relationship with HBB:

HBB is not my employer. While we collaborate as associates and typically make decisions regarding HBB as a team, the blog post below was not a product of consensus, other than the agreement that some public statement had to be made by someone addressing the allegations that had been made against HBB. 

It was the consensus of most of the team members, before and after this conflict was made public, to try to make a clean break with a handshake, well-wishes and support for her future endeavors whatever they might be. 

However, the public nature of the false allegations, and their continuing escalation, eliminated that as an option. One of us had to address it, publicly and in kind. Being who I am, I volunteered on the condition that I was going to say whatever the fuck I chose.

No other member of the team saw this post before it was published. It was my decision to write it as I did, mean language and all, and to publish it here on my personal blog, where the other team members would have no editorial control over what I said. It does not reflect the sentiments of every team member, which is why it is published here. It is not an official statement from HBB—it’s my personal opinion. 

It remains my opinion, full stop. Unless it comes to my attention that I have expressed an error of fact, I do not, and will not, regret a single word of it, regardless of what any of the other team members, including Alison, might come to think or feel.

However, given the fact that this blog post was written in anger, and its tone reflects that, I will do everyone a favor and place it below the cut. 

Sorry about the color coding everyone, and the formatting of this blog post. 

But it has come to my attention that one of our former team members, Rachel Edwards, has decided to attack Honey Badger Brigade. She's written several blog posts slandering some of our members as incompetent, financially malfeasant, dishonest, phoning it in, and narcissistic. Others, she has been portraying as foolish, unwitting, dumbass victims of same. 

I am reproducing Rachel's latest blog post here in reddish, with my responses in blue. Reproduction of my latest unsent letter to her is in black. 

Anonymous asked: Opinion on HBB's new mission statement?

First and foremost I think it’s admirable that this is what they believe their mission to be. 

So glad you approve, Rachel.

I’m sure that feminists believe they are saving women in Africa and in the middle east by marching in the streets with their tops off, but that’s not what they actually do. If I honestly believed these people capable of doing even a fraction of what they’ve expressed in this video, I would not only still be with HBR I’d be singing their praises to you right now.

No, you wouldn't. Because you were about to be fired the afternoon you left. Not by Alison's decision, either, but by mine. If you want to know why, please attend to the letter I've screencapped here, dated mid-November of 2015. I wrote it after stumbling into the Admin chat on Skype and watching in disbelief as you alternately gaslighted and berated Alison for over an hour. Alison and Hannah talked me out of sending it to you.

And then, bam! within hours you had flounced out of all the Skype chats and severed ties with HBB, and the entire thing became moot as far as we were concerned. We decided there was no reason to air any of this dirty laundry, particularly given how poorly it would reflect on you. We decided that touching the poop wouldn't do us or you any good. Live and let live, you know. Peace among allies. Irreconcilable differences, and all that. 

Since many of those reading this right now have never met these people, I will translate. 

I can't wait, Rachel. I really can't.

“We’ve been profiting off of the ambiguity of our mission, and robotically reading to you a prewritten statement because if we were to be genuine, this whole video would not only fall apart, but you’d realize just how full of shit we are. 

We’ve been making something in the realm of 5,000 dollars a month and not paying the people who put in hours of time a week so that Alison Tieman can get paid to manage money poorly and fail utterly to understand even the most basic business ethics, or even how economics work.”

Our mission has never been ambiguous, Rachel. We've been upfront about it, and transparent in our operations, right from the get-go, reiterating it at the start or the tail end of numerous episodes of our show. Our mission statement was written by me now because Alison, Hannah and the others decided I should not send you the OTHER letter I was going to send you after we were pointed in the direction of your initial blog post attacking us, here.

I will reproduce this second unsent letter in full here, in black text, and can provide a timestamped log regarding when I wrote it:

What the everloving fuck is this, Rachel?

“There’s a lot going on behind the scenes that people aren’t aware of. One of the many reasons I left was because I felt there was a level of dishonesty there that I wasn’t comfortable with.”

What were you uncomfortable with, again? The nearly all expenses paid trip to ICMI? The nearly all expenses paid trip to CalEx? The nearly all expenses paid trip to GGinBC? 

Were you uncomfortable with that? Because, you know, you didn’t seem very uncomfortable with that.

“Mainly because it’s been Alison’s intention, (for longer than I was aware) to make HBR a for-profit corporation, while running it like a non-profit organization with lots and lots of unpaid labor.”

HBR is Alison. It’s been her baby from the beginning.

She has worked 60+ hour weeks for more than a year trying to build it into an enterprise where people can be remunerated for their time and effort. 

She is the first person who deserves a living wage, given the amount of time she puts in, and especially given the liability she has taken on. 

Do you realize that if she didn’t incorporate, every penny HBR receives would be taxable, and Alison would be held ultimately responsible for that? 

So let’s say HBR takes in $50,000 a year, and she distributes that evenly among you, me, Mike, Brian, Hannah and the others. Alison is the one who gets stuck paying income tax on the full $50,000, Rachel. That’s the burden she bears if she doesn’t incorporate. She’d have to pay personal income tax on every penny coming in. 

And don’t give me any of that “running it like a non-profit” shit. The SPLC is a nonprofit, with a net worth of hundreds of millions of dollars, and which pays its directors hundreds of thousands a year, all while operating on the backs of well-meaning volunteers who work for nothing. They can get away with that *because* they are a non-profit. 

Maybe you just don’t know what things are like in the real world, where you have to earn what you eat, Rachel. Not all of us are able to reach the age of 30 without ever having held down a job for more than a couple of months. But Alison couldn’t run HBR if she wasn’t taking a wage from it, because she doesn’t have her mom there able and willing to put a roof over her head. I couldn’t do what I do without accepting money for it because otherwise I’d be back working 52 hours a week waiting tables.

But I don’t know if you even understand what it’s like to have to support yourself, because you never have. You have never had only your own effort and ability standing between you and a cardboard box, no less you and your fucking kids and a cardboard box.

“For the past two years it’s survived on the backs of what amounts to unpaid part-time and full time workers. Artists, editors, web designers, writers, animators, etc.”

None of whom were retained on the basis of being offered a wage. All of whom volunteered their time and effort because they wanted to. None of whom were tricked into thinking they were going to be paid for their contribution when they were not. Some of whom, like Hannah, have refused to even discuss accepting pay for their work. 
And none of whom will ever end up getting paid for their work if HBR doesn’t actively seek financial support from listeners and fans, or if you manage to scare people away from contributing funds with vague assertions of dishonesty and financial malfeasance.

“I’m not even talking about a few hours here and there. It’s criminal the way that she’s run things all the while alluding to the idea that this works like a charity or non-profit.”

It’s not criminal, Rachel. Though your blog post might be considered libellous. 

She has never told anyone we are a nonprofit organization (and fuck sake, Feminist Frequency is a nonprofit. Do you really think Anita isn’t profiting from it?). Alison has NEVER suggested that we’re a charity. We’re a business. A business that is finally on its way to being able to actually compensate contributors for their time and effort. You know, if we’re not constantly forced to field accusations of Alison being a money-grubbing whore.

“This isn’t even the half of it. When I asked her about what she intended to do about all the unpaid labor, she shrugged it off and said she didn’t feel like it’d be a problem and that working out the international payroll would be far too troublesome.”

Do you have ANY idea what it’s like dealing with tax treaties and international payroll, Rachel? Do you? No, you don’t. I doubt you, as someone who’s held down a job for a few months of your  entire adult life, have ever had to file a fucking tax return, let alone one that involved income from, or expenses to, foreign countries. 

Let me let you in on something. Since I began doing business with an American publisher, I have had to pay an accountant $500 a year to do my tax returns. JUST to deal with the cross-border bullshit. And I have to pay her that AFTER I have spent up to 20 hours each tax season organizing, tallying and documenting receipts, expenses, pay stubs, bank statements and the rest. If I just handed my accountant a crate full of papers, she’d charge me an extra $500 just to sort it all out. 

So you are literally asking Alison to pay contributors out of gross income she is personally, solely responsible to pay taxes on as an individual in a high tax bracket, and then she needs to pay an accountant out of what is left over after those taxes to keep her on the right side of the law. Oh, and none of the time she has to put into keeping track and documenting every fucking penny coming in or going out counts as work that should be remunerated. 

Are you even living in the world of grown-ups, Rachel?

“The end goal is not to help men,”

Don’t you fucking dare impute motivations or intentions on any of us. 

“but for Alison to create a business so that she can fund her personal projects of creating installation art, her comic book, and creating sensation materials for autistic kids.”

Alison sacrificed her comic book on the altar of the MRM and GamerGate. What a disgusting accusation. As for creating sensation materials for autistic kids, even if that was one of Alison’s goals, autism spectrum disorders disproportionately affect boys. If Alison wants to use some of the less than minimum wage she collects through HBR on installation art or a project to help autistic kids, who are you to tell her what to do with her earned income, Rachel?

If I choose to use the funds from my channel to buy groceries or pay my rent, am I misappropriating funds? What if I use some of it to see a movie in a theater? Buy cigarettes? 

How did your paid trip to GGinBC help men, Rachel? Your paid trip to CalEx? Just wondering.

HBR is about producing content that people feel has value. It takes a LOT of time, energy and organization to do that, the vast majority of which, and the least fulfilling of which (stuffing envelopes, taking meeting minutes, coordinating shows), is put in by Alison. 

As senior board members, Hannah and I have BOTH enthusiastically encouraged Alison to take a wage for this work, because neither of us have the time or patience to do it, *even if* we were being paid to. 

 “When I confronted her about this ethical breach I was treated like I was being unfair to her.”

Because there is no ethical breach, Rachel. Learn how the real world works, please. 
I stumbled into the admin chat when you and Alison were having it out, and my first response to what I was reading was to nuke you from orbit. Alison has, over and over, been the one to talk me out of it. Then you posted this blog post, and after doing so have managed to get yourself invited into a group chat where you have access to our patrons. Some have been asking questions that dovetail too nicely with this post for comfort.
Why are you trying to sabotage HBR, Rachel? With lies, no less?

“When I realized that it was her intention to go corporate, and how badly she managed it all, I knew I had to jump ship.”

And if only that flounce had stuck. But now you’ve insinuated your way back into our group skype chats because you “miss” some of us. The moment you were allowed in, I recommended you be booted. Yes, you heard me. If you want me to send you the email I’d written when I saw that admin chat that I never sent because you quit before I had the chance, I will. I don’t think you’ll like it.

“I knew that if I spoke up about it I’d get painted as a villain like Diana Davidson.”
Diana Davison. Not Davidson. And she’s not a villain. She just is. But for all her supposed villainy, she never tried to take a wrecking ball to HBR from the inside, the way you’re doing now. Think about that.

“It’s why I’ve kept quiet about it for as long as I have. I feel a lot of shame for unknowingly being a part of what amounts to exploitation.”

Exploitation of whom? In what way? In the thousands of patron dollars that sent you to ICMI or CalEx or GGinBC? Exploitation of people who enjoy our content and willingly contribute time, talent and money to it? 

You profited from that, Rachel. YOU profited from other people’s willingness to contribute. And that’s what makes this fucked up, libellous diatribe so disgusting. 
You’re an unemployed woman living in your abusive mother’s house on her dime because the alternative—earning a living and being independent—is just more difficult.

And you have the fucking gall to bitch Alison out for turning HBR, through her leadership, into a going concern. Into an enterprise that might, at some point, NOT have to rely on the unpaid labor of willing volunteers, all while moaning about how our volunteers aren’t getting paid. 

Tell me, Rachel, is there any way whatsoever we could do things that you’d approve of? Because, you know, I’m not seeing it. We take in money, build the platform, increase revenue, and we’re selling out. We don’t take in money and everyone’s, necessarily, an exploited volunteer. And somehow, none of this bothered you when you got to travel to BC and Detroit at someone else’s expense. 

Fuck sake. 

Now, "don't get me wrong", but I didn't write these messages just to piss into the wind, Rachel. I wrote them with the intention of sending them to you, and Alison and the others talked me down. But you know, this three week binge of maligning us you've been on just takes the fucking cake, and I'm done listening to the others. If they think me posting this is a fireable offence, then fine. But you've earned this, and it seems like I'm the only person on the team willing to dish it out. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure their heart is in the right place, but I don’t think I’ve heard so many lies in a single video. 

Name one. Better yet, back it up with some documentation.

I was in the staff meetings so a lot of this isn’t new. I was there while we discussed the legal loopholes they’d be exploiting to use unpaid labor. 

We have logs, and anyone can read them. They're uploaded to box.com.

Alison Tieman is not a saint, at best she is an ignorant cry bully and at worst atextbook covert narcissist. 

And yet despite your behavior, she hasn't said one shitty word publicly about you, and neither have any of us. Yet all you've done since you left is bash us, impute malicious intent onto us, and single Alison out for accusations for which you've provided no documentation. 

Who's the bully here, Rachel? Who's the person who's creating drama and stirring up shit? Who's the covert narcissist? 

She outright said that she not only did not know about the legality of what she was doing and decided that this was the plan before she even had any idea of what that meant.

Really? You're sure about that? Because the chat logs are accessible, Rachel. Anyone can read them.

Or is it that Alison was unsure about the differences in the legal requirements of various organizational structures, and wanted everyone's input and advice? The differences between an LLC, a sole proprietorship, a nonprofit, etc? And wanted to know what other team members thought regarding how to go forward? 

You think that might have been what those discussions were about?

Honey Badger Radio is actually not Alison’s brainchild. That’s a lie. Alison was actually urged to do this by people from AVFM from the beginning, and when they split from AVFM that was when a lot of the problems happened. A lot of the things on the technological end, the management, and organization was all handled by AVFM, and when they split from AVFM they lost access to all that.

HBR absolutely was Alison's brainchild. Because AVFM encouraged her and helped us out in the beginning, that somehow changes history? Somehow, because someone received encouragement and support, their idea wasn't theirs? Interesting.

HBR was the most popular show on AVFM because it took advantage of the natural gynocentrism already present in the men’s rights movement. HBR’s success comes not from effectively spreading a message or taking the work seriously, but from the fact that they are saying precisely what MRAs have been saying for years but in a womanly voice.  

You mean the natural gynocentrism already present everywhere, is what you meant to say? 

And I have never contested that, and I doubt any of the team would. In fact, I've said as much on numerous occasions. What I say counts for more in the mainstream because of the fact I'm a woman. Yet somehow you think this totally open and discussed controversy is a dirty little secret?

In fact probably the most troubling memory I have, was of speaking to Alison while she expressed that she and the others were half-assing their work, and I expressed that I always put my heart and soul into everything I was doing. I expressed my commitment and it was met with something along the lines of a, “That’s nice Rachel…” kind of thing.

Screenshots, pls. Because thus far, none of what you're saying has been substantiated with evidence. And I can't imagine any of our team members, other than myself, claiming to call in their work. And you know, I call in my work to HBB because I have a bigger platform on my own channel where I don't call in my work, and my channel boosts HBB. 

If you think I call in my work, I would suggest you talk to Stardusk, Paul Elam, Tom Golden, Tim Goldich, Harry Crouch, Marc Angelucci, Warren Farrell, Erin Pizzey, Anne Cools, Allen Frantzen or anyone else involved in this shit. Go ahead. Do it, Rachel. 

I had busted my ass

No, you didn't. You put in about 5 hours a week. According to you. You know, in addition to that job you don't have that you don't need to put a roof over your head.

to not only compile notes every week and to research topics, but to learn philosophical concepts I’d never been exposed to and figure out how to effectively communicate them, in a short amount of time. I waded through bullshit to be a valuable member, and it was consistently frustrating that I would have to be the one every week who did my homework. While everyone else just kind of wandered into the situation.

Did someone mention "covert narcissism" up above somewhere? Because the last documentation provided by you that we have regarding your work on HBB was that it was somewhere in the area of 5 hours a week. Yet somehow, you were the only valuable member of the team? You were the crux of the operation, right? The fulcrum? The heart and soul of the operation. The only member who was pure enough?

It took about two years for me to realize just how tragically bad these people were at doing what they do. 

Says the girl with a tumblr blog and a handful of followers. What world are you living in, Rachel?

They are a group of broken people who can barely take care of their own problems let alone those of men. 

That's rich, coming from a woman of 30 years who's never been self-supporting, who lives with her mother on her mother's dime, and who had to run a fundraiser just to make her rent a month ago.

Also, Hannah and Psy asked me to say "you're welcome" for their tweeting of your fundraiser and their donations toward paying your fucking rent. Not for providing a product or service, but just because you exist and people are were fond of you.

I mean I remember the first time we received a large sum of money. We received something like 6,000 dollars from an anonymous donor, and I had to talk Alison out of dropping over 3,000 dollars into a large installation banner for the Detroit conference.

The cost of that banner was $600, not $3000, and no, you didn't talk Alison out of it, either. It was decided, for purposes of anonymity and individual consent, to go with a smaller banner with fewer people on it. 

All in all, it amounted to less than your plane ticket and accommodations. 

And none of that expense was in response to our "large anonymous donation" of $6000, because THAT money was earmarked, by the donor, specifically as HBB's contribution toward a reward fund, designated to go to any individual who could provide information leading to the identification and conviction of the individual who allegedly assaulted Danielle D'Entremont. Our donor, whom I know personally but who prefers to remain anonymous, told us that after a year, if the money wasn't claimed, we should keep it for our operations, despite our protestations that we should return it to him if it wasn't used for its specific purpose. It's been almost two years, and that money is still sitting there in a dedicated account. 

But yes, Rachel, everyone should be prepared to swallow your allegations at face value, with no substantiation. Just your word. Just you alone--no corroboration and no documentation. Listen and believe.

I had to have a similar conversation with her about dropping 7,000 dollars on a social media style Honey Badger website. This is the person people are donating money to. A person who doesn’t think twice about dropping money into frivolous things.

Uh... no. That wasn't Alison proposing that social media site, it was Alison and Brian. And no, you didn't talk Alison out of spending that money. It was a group decision to drop the plan for now, because it would cost too much, not your decision. And the very fact that we decided to drop the idea disproves your accusation that Alison doesn't think twice about dropping money on frivolous things. She asked our opinion of it, we talked it through, and decided against.

Interesting how when we bat around an idea and figure out how much it will cost, no matter whether we decide to do it or not, the very fact that we had a discussion about it at all is somehow irresponsible, no?

The whole road trip to Canada thing? That was Brian agreeing to drive me, because he had plans to hook up with some women on the way. 

Well, I'm almost positive that Brian's regretting his decision now. Brian, like me, prefers driving to flying, and sometimes it's cheaper to do it that way--especially if there are two individuals. Also, how dare Brian hook up with his girlfriend!

The trip almost made HBR go broke.

The trip cost less than it would have cost to fly you both up. And no, it didn't make HBR go broke. The cost of it was included in the fundraiser, and even if the fundraiser had fallen short of its goal, HBR has an operating budget that includes a savings account--a rainy day fund, if you will. Mainly due to Alison's fiscal responsibility. Any extra costs would have been easily absorbed by that. 

Good grief, Rachel. Why are you making shit up? 

Calgary? That was Alison having an excuse to finally have that installation piece she wanted, and to sell her comics. 

Which she paid for with her own money, Rachel. Unlike your trip, which was paid for by HBB.  

But you see, her previous attempts at getting people to buy it were not so successful. So she brought us in, in hopes that fans would show up and also buy the comic. Which isn’t on it’s own bad until you realize that she was trying to use #Gamergate to sell her comic as well.

Yeah, right. She sacrificed her comic on the altar of GamerGate, and yet she was trying to profit from the association. 

Hey, how did you profit, Rachel? Trips and attention and photo ops and all kinds of feeling like you belong, for no investment other than the 5 hours of work you put in each week, and your singular talents as the cosmic glue that held HBB together until the day you left, at which point we all just crashed and burned for lack of your glory... or something...

I seem to recall someone mentioning something about covert narcissism...

I don’t really buy the whole, “Oh my gosh! I didn’t know we’d get kicked out, thing. From Alison.” 

I do, because Alison is unflinchingly fair, and of course she'd expect that she'd be treated at least partly fairly. She went in thinking we'd be able to stay, I went in thinking we'd be kicked out. Alison and me, the dreamer and the cynic...

Because her actions are conflicting here. She set up the comic booth, that says she wants to sell her comics. She sets up the Honey Badger stuff, that says she’s there to protest and be provocative

No, she did not. We were not there to protest, we were there to represent the GG side of the conversation. We were not there to be provocative because we knew we would never get away with that. 

 while riding on the coattails of Karen Straughan. 

Nice. I like how you're trying to rewrite my relationship with Alison and the others. They're riding on my coattails? Fucking hell. Next thing you know, you'll be insinuating that I need a vacation. Such a heavy weight, Rachel, for someone like me who had greatness thrust upon them and now needs to live up to inhuman standards. Or something. Whatever fits your narrative.

It couldn't be that I encourage talent no matter where it comes from. Sargon of Akkad told me after my livestream with him that I was one of the reasons he was inspired to create his channel. He's thus far achieved more than double the number of subscribers as me, and I'm overjoyed with that. Despite what you have said about HBB and Diana Davison, I've upvoted and tweeted a number of her videos. 

I spend a huge amount of time promoting and supporting other people's work, because it's the work that matters, not the people. 

But yeah. That's just me giving people a free ride on my coattails, right? Not promoting the cause. Not spreading the ideas. 

And yet here you are, having ridden our coattails to some small degree of notoriety, shitting on the very people who consistently promoted your work. And gave you free trips to places you would otherwise never have been able to visit, to meet people you would otherwise never be able to meet. You know, being chronically unemployed, not self-supporting, and living as an adult off of the charity of your mother.  

The Gamergate Banner, says that she wants to shit stir. 

Where did it say that? Was it the part about standing up to censorship? 

So opposing censorship is shit-stirring? Huh.

I on the otherhand was not there to shit stir. 

No, you were there to enjoy yourself, you were there to play Rock Band on Xbox with the other Badgers in a rented house in Victoria on someone else's dime into the wee hours of the morning, and bask in everyone else's glow. 

I was there to help Alison sell t-shirts cause I was under the delusion that she was a nice person.

Don't lie. You were there for your own reasons, just like the rest of us. 

But all her behavior, all of her actions, are not the actions of someone who wants to help men. 

I know. The 11+ years she paid her dues at "Stand Your Ground", "Men's Rights Newsgroup" on usenet, "Feminist Critics", "Genderratic", Men's rights reddit and elsewhere before she ever turned her sights toward making a living from it.. yeah, none of that matters. 11+ years of doing this for nothing means wanting to have something to eat when you retire is being greedy.

11+ years of helping men for no financial reward, and now she's pulling minimum wage. What a monster!

They are the actions of someone with delusions of grandeur, but who can not make peace with that attention seeking part of herself, and so she’s got to say it’s about men. 

Who's seeking attention here, Rachel? Is it the group of people you left who shook your hand and wished you well? 

Or is it the person who's devoted an inordinate amount of their time and effort to writing scathing criticisms of said group? 

None of it substantiated with one whit of evidence, mind you. None of it more than your personal opinion as someone who, according to you, was putting in all the work and effort and heart and soul, while the rest of us were either phoning it in or exploiting others?

Which of us is the one in desperate need of attention, Rachel?

Because if she was actually really honest with herself, she’d know it’s not about men, it’s about herself, her projects and her own ego, and frankly I’m rather disgusted by it.

I'm sure the feeling of disgust is mutual. And you know what, Rachel? I'm disgusted by Alison, too. I'm disgusted that she felt that it would be harmful to everyone, including you, to air our dirty laundry in public when you left. I was ready to air everything, light of day, cockroaches scattering. But she said no, it would create drama. Worse, it would deepen an already existing rift, which would compromise the mission. So I kept my mouth shut.

I'm disgusted that I allowed her to talk me out of sending you that initial email I had ready to go. Because, you know, she figured it would hurt you, and as much as you hurt her in those chats on Skype, she never wished you any harm.

I'm disgusted by the fact that this past week, I let her talk me out of nuking you from orbit over your borderline criminal allegations about HBB and how we operate. I'm disgusted that I didn't tell her to go fuck herself after the very first suggestion by you that she's misappropriated funds, and go ahead and obliterate you, privately or publicly.

I'm disgusted by the fact that I allowed Hannah and Alison and Brian and Anna and Mike and some of our most loyal patrons talk me out of squashing this shit you've been spewing under my heel, because we shouldn't feed the "drama llama". Because "drama never helps." Because somehow, putting up with abuse is better than reacting to it, because well, we don't want to look like we're hitting anyone.

I'm disgusted that I let them talk me into writing a mission statement that we should have put out in November when we all, by consensus, decided how our enterprise would be organized, rather than publicly drop-kicking you and all of your unsubstantiated allegations about who we are, what we do, and how we conduct ourselves.

And now that we're here in this place, I'm disgusted that Alison worked 60 hour weeks to help make it possible for you to sit next to me in a lawn chair on a patio in Victoria and talk about how you don't want to go back home, and how you hope we can do this again, because all you were going to do with that experience that cost you nothing was wipe your ass with it and wave it in our faces as if somehow we are stealing other people's money while you were forcefed all that cash. 

You ungrateful bitch.

But you know this is what happens when you take people who are only good at shit stirring, and have them try to manage things like money,

You're joking, right? Have you ever HAD to manage money, Rachel? Have you ever experienced more than 6 months of your 30 years where YOU had to put a roof over your own head, food on your own table and pay your own bills? Let alone a roof and food and bills on behalf of others? And you think you can bitch about us not being able to manage money? 

When you have to do a kickstarter to pay your rent? Oh, wait. Not YOUR rent. Your mother's rent. 

When have you ever earned enough money to make any kind of claim that you're capable of managing it, Rachel? 

the business end of things, and anything particularly detail orientated. 

Like all the details you've provided to your readers? You know, screenshots and files and timestamps and all the rest? You know, those things that might substantiate what you're saying, but which don't exist?

Those kinds of details? Is that what you're talking about here?

If there is an organization or set of people who will actually help men, it won’t be HBR, or AVFM. NCFM does a better job at doing tangible things than any of those people. 

NCFM does an amazing job at doing the grunt work of filing legal suits and things like that, none of which make the news or does anything to change the cultural narrative. 

Oh, by the bye, NCFM granted me the 2012 Award of Excellence for Promoting Gender Fairness in Media. If I recall, they granted Paul Elam their Award for the Advancement of Men's Issues that same year. 

But yeah, NCFM is the shiznit. And HBB and AVFM are just shit. Gotcha. 

Milo Yiannopoulos with only his charisma and unapologetic narcissism is doing a better job at this than anyone in the men’s movement. 

Is this the same Milo Yiannopoulos who thinks cut dicks are hot, and thinks that men's problems only started half a generation ago? Just wondering.

So I honestly think the mission statement is saying, “Please don’t stop giving us money. We promise something good will happen if you just put a dollar in the box.” 

We don't promise anything. Other than we will continue to create content. And we don't charge anything, either. Why, it's almost like anyone can view our content without paying a dime, and people who feel strongly about it can help us as they are willing and able. It's almost like we're giving our work away, and we're fortunate to have enough people who value our work enough to support it! 

That whole "people can contribute or not, as they wish" thing is just so sinister!  

But it’s all bullshit, and it’s a sinking ship. Several people have confided in me privately that they are no longer watching the show anymore. Long time listeners are tuning out and everything is hanging by a thread.

And they're all headed to your tumblr, aren't they? You know, your tumblr where you reblog stuff when you're not bashing the people who bankrolled your vacations?

If you want to understand what I put up with behind the scenes, I strongly suggest doing a little research into covert narcissists and how they bully or abuse people, because that is precisely what I dealt with behind the scenes every fucking week. 

Or they could read the screenshots and the linked materials here. Because the only covert narcissist I see in this debacle isn't that covert. And you know, no one was forcing you to deal with anything any fucking week, Rachel. 

When you left, we didn't fuck you over. We didn't smear you. We didn't malign you publicly. We didn't even send you mean emails (much to my eternal chagrin). We shook your hand and wished you well, and this is what we get. Well, fine. 

You want to make this public, we can make it public. 

You're a liar, Rachel. I don't know if you're lying to other people or lying to yourself. But you were never the one true member of the team who really worked and really cared. You cared and worked 5 hours a week. You were never abused by Alison--in fact, you were abusive to her. And what you've said in a lot of your blog posts since leaving is potentially actionable. 

You claim the members of HBB can barely help ourselves, yet Hannah is a breadwinner, Mike is self-supporting, Brian put in way more time than you despite being a full time student and having a job, Alison works 60 hour weeks, I've been a 50/50 or sole breadwinner for myself and three other people for most of my adult life, Anna runs a business aside from this and is financially solvent, and yet you... 

YOU are the only member of this group that has never had to support yourself, let alone anyone else. YOU are the one person we've invited into our group who can't help herself. Who has never had a steady job. Who has had to beg for charity to make rent. Who lives off of another person's labor. 

You're 30 fucking years old, Rachel. "Public transit sucks in my area," gets a little stale as an excuse to not get a job and keep it. My 20 year old daughter's commute is more than an hour each way by bus. Sometimes she doesn't get home from work until almost 2 in the morning. 

And you know what? She pays me rent to cover her expenses and is plugging the rest into savings, because that's what adults do. 

But somehow, you're in a position to be a moral judge when it comes to who is able to "help themselves" and who isn't, who is able to manage money and who isn't, who is competent at running a business and who isn't.

Right. I bow to your expertise, Rachel. I bow to your wisdom and experience of leeching off of the labor of others all while claiming some bastardization of a moral high ground.

I suppose if we all had our mommy's income to fall back on and never had to do a moment of work to keep ourselves fed, we could be as pure and righteous and generous and unselfish as you are. 

I suppose if we could all post a fundraiser begging for money for nothing "because rent" (and have the people we're shitting on donate to it and promote it, no less) we could all hold ourselves above that dirty, filthy, disgusting notion of being paid for our work, for the hours and effort and sacrifice we put toward the mission. I mean, working for money? That just sounds so cynical!

You know, if we were all like you, we'd be sitting above the filth and muck of the plebes who put in time and effort above and beyond what it takes to feed, shelter and clothe ourselves and others to forward a goal, and we'd be passing judgment on how they're doing it all wrong and are malfeasant, to boot. You know, because unlike you, they have bills to pay.

You fucking cunt. How DARE you? How fucking dare you?

Tell you what, Rachel. I'll take you seriously the very first time you can show me you have a job, are earning a living, and have actually donated money to a men's rights organization. 

Because as long as your time is worth sweet fuck all, that's exactly what it's worth. And as long as your allegations are completely unsubstantiated, you can go fuck yourself.

Regards,

Karen